For my Mom

I keep thinking that each year Mother's day would be easier and that I wouldn't miss my mom as much, but it simply isn't true. This past January was the 20 year mark of her death, and there are times that are easier than others, but the truth is that I still miss her a much as the day I found out that her time on earth was finished. I was a month away from turning 16. I am grateful for the knowledge of the gospel. This helped me deal with and understand her death so much more. I know only through the knowledge of the gospel that I will see her again. When I was blessed to receive my endowments in the DC temple in 1993, I was able to be proxy for my mother the next day. I know that she is an instrument in the Lord's hands where she is now.

Since I have had children, I have missed her even more. There have been so may times that I have longed to call her and say "come get your grandchildren" or "what the heck do I do with this child?" I wished that she could have been here when each of my babies were born. I sometimes start to feel sad for my babies that they don't get to know her I see of all my friends children who see grandparents regularly, and wish sooo much that mom could meet Jordan, Spencer and Landon. We are grateful for those that do fill that role in our lives.

Taking care of children came so easy to her-there was never a child who didn't instantly fall in love with her. In the midst of her battle with mental illness, she still managed to make children smile, laugh and want to be around her. We had some really hard years, but still could have fun. I have been making a scrapbook for my little sister and found some of my favorite pictures I wanted to share. I am well aware of the embarrassment I may face at some of these pics, but we all have 'em, right?

I grew up on dairy farms in Wisconsin for the earliest years of my life. Here is one of my favorite houses we lived in. It was on a pig farm, but we didn't run the farm, just lived in the house and my dad worked a farm a few miles away. We had 3 huge apple trees in the back yard and we would eat our selves sick with apples:) We had a huge yard we would just run like crazy. We played outside all day and when we came in we were lovingly referred to as "dirt magnets." Mom stayed home with us and we were so happy at this time. In case you can't tell, I am the oldest in my family-nice belly button shot, huh? Here is one of mom and me as a baby. Mom had me pretty young-she had 4 children by the time she was 23-CRAZY!!! I still to this day don't know how she did it-It would be like me bringing home number 4 right now since Lanny just turned 2. My sisters and I are all 2 years apart within 2 months...yikes is all I can say.

This is one of my favorite school pictures of my mom. I just love her face in this picture. You are beautiful to me mom!!

My parents divorced when I was around 13, but all during our lives my sisters and I were referred to as "Donna's girls." My sisters are Bridget, Susan and Barbara. Love you too, guys!! That ugly tapestry hang in our dining room for years... it is easy to see that I inhereted my clear lack of home design and decor from my mom. The chart on the wall was one of mom's many attempts at a chore chart...seem as though I learned that from her as well...takes may attempts to get your kids to do chores:)

This picture is I think just before we left for my first New Beginnings when I first went to Young Womens. Can you believe my dress....yikes!! And I think my mom is wearing one of only 2 dresses she ever wore to church most of my childhood-until she lost a ton of weight. As is the case with lots of moms, she never got herself anything new-only worried about us.

Here is a skinnier version of mom after she did the "Diet Center" program. It is my 13th birthday. One of my favorite pics.

I learned many things from my mom. She used her sense of humor to get through many situations. She was known for that everywhere she went. She could cheer anyone up and would give anyone the shirt off her back. She had a strong testimony of the gospel. We would feed the missionaries EVERY week in our home and most of the time she was their chauffeur on p-day-we had sisters most of the time. Her very best friend was a sister who served in our branch for a long time. Mom worked in primary and young women's I think her whole church life!

My mom taught me my sisters and I to love all people, regardless of looks, status, etc. One of my sisters and my best friends in the town we lived in longest was a girl that no one would play with-at the time she was considered "retarded". She lived just down the road from us and my mom never once turned her away from our home...she practically lived there at times. I have been proud of my sisters through the years for befriending many people who had been rejected by others. This we learned from our mother.

Mom used to call us funny things. She had this thing she would always say about kids who were attached to their mothers "mama calf" If I say it to people, the look at me funny, but I am laughing inside. My youngest sister was our family's "mama calf" after my parents divorce she was attached to my mom's hip. In high school I as able work in a restaurant with my mom-she was everyone's favorite person. I was always so proud of her hard work and integrity.

There are so many more things I could write about, but I mostly want to say that I am so grateful that I got 16 years with such an amazing lady. I love you Mom and miss you terribly, but look forward to the day when you can meet Darin and our little family.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!