I'm not going to make it.

I want to just give up. I can't take it anymore. I know I was going to try to stay positive this week, but I'm done.

They are still painting. This is the THIRD week. I hate it. We got the whole house torn apart last week , but they didn't get to most of the rooms until this week. It has been very frustrating. And I'm a wimp. I really wish I would have told them to go a room at a time so we could have a semblance of normalcy in the house instead of it all torn up at one time. And my friend also has another part time job to do in the morning, which I thought he wasn't going to do when he was painting our house, so he rarely gets here before 11:00 and works until 4:00 when I bring his kids home from school.

Lesson learned: NEVER hire a friend out of a desire to help them-even if they call and text you over and over about it. So if they are bragging about their abilities and that they really need the money, don't fall for it. We hired our friend-the father of the kids I watch- who did lower his original bid, but in the long run we are going to end up paying the same as if we had hired a big company who would have painted every inch and not complained. After I pay him for materials and labor, it's the same as the bid I got that included everything-ceilings, closets, etc. The things my friend is avoiding doing. He likes to point out to me when things are going to be a "huge pain." If I had hired the one company I got a bid from, they would have come in, done the work and left. The bid said 7-10 days, and we're already on day 13 now. And he says there are 2 days left.

I'm not gonna make it.

The house is in chaos. He says I can put things away, but then I notice touch ups. Like the wall where the big couch goes. He said that wall was done, but I noticed today a huge part in the middle of the window that was not done. Do I do all the mopping and dusting and put the couch back only for him to have to pull it out to finish painting and get my floors dirty again. The front door has been open while they paint so the floors are horrible. There's still dust all over from the sanding.

My kid have watched so much TV while I've been moving things around and getting them ready for the painters and then putting things back. Dinners have been few and far between and certainly not nutritiously balanced in any way. I've become a horrible mother. I'm constantly snapping at them to not touch the walls with their hands or any other thing-which by the way, do you realize how much your kids touch the walls? My goodness!!!

They are currently upstairs watching a cartoon. Jordan and Spencer were on the couch playing on my laptop and got into an argument and knocked it onto the floor. I snapped and grabbed it away fast. They burst into tears "It was an accident...you don't love us anymore." I tried to console Spencer, but he didn't want anything to do with me. It's like a dagger to the heart to hear that line every day.

Am I going to be able to undo the damage that's done during this horrible time in our families lives? I sure hope so. I tell myself that it will all get better once we get in a new house.

And my friend Josh keeps telling me things wrong with the house every day. Black mold in a couple windows, mold on the concrete out back, a crack in the foundation, says we need new electrical outlets, etc. I know he means well-he works in mortgages so he knows how inspections work, but it is FREAKING ME OUT!!! He tells me "no offense, but you really haven't kept up the house." I just wanted to burst into tears. It makes me feel like it's just our house that has problems. Your house is your life and when you have someone tell you it's crappy, it doesn't feel good. I want to tell him to paint and that's it, but I'm a wimp.

And it doesn't make me feel very positive about someone wanting to buy our house. Which then dashes my dreams about a new house. But we did hire a great realtor, so I have high hopes about what he can do for us.

Am I being over-dramatic? Darin thinks so. I emailed him about freaking out and he says "the house is 24 years old, it's not going to look new. We'll deal with it when we have an inspection." I wish I could be like that. He doesn't want to put more money into it.

Which is my next beef-why do we have to do soooo much to sell a house anyhow? It is so frustrating.

One good thing is that we did get a good bid for carpet and it will be done next week. After that is done, I just have to do the back yard, clean all the windows, clean all the cupboards and banisters really well. Not a lot, right?

And Darin is out of town this week-in Moscow. So it's not like he's on one of his trips where I can call him every night. I feel all this pressure because if I pay Josh and Dainr comes home and doesn't like the house, he won't be happy.

I need assertiveness training so badly.


OK.......I seriously need to stop. I just had to get it out. Whew. Since it's 7:25 and the kids have only really had snacks, I better feed them and get on with bedtime. They're excited because they get to sleep on the sleeper sofa in the basement tonight since their rooms were painted today. Would I be a horrible mother if I just put a movie on and laid with them until they fall asleep? Problem is that I will probably fall asleep before they do!!!

Where in the world is Wendi?

neglecting her blog, that's where.

Oh boy, where do I start? I have tons to say, and tons of pictures on my camera I want to get on here....that's what I get for doing too much-now I have to play catch up.

We are deep in the throws of our townhouse getting a major face lift-in preparation to go on the market. Here's the list so far

*new tile in 3 bathrooms
*3 new ceiling fans
*4 new bathroom fixtures
*4 new lighting fixtures throughout the house
*new paint on front and back railings
*back fence door handle fixed so now it actually stays shut
*couple cosmetic wood working things fixed

The painter, who is my friend Josh, has been ripping down wallpaper for 3 days now.

I HATE WALLPAPER

just so there is no confusion here:

WALLPAPER SUCKS

I could clarify that the removal of wallpaper is the problem, but if there if it hadn't been put up in the first place, we wouldn't be having to pay out the wazoo to have it removed.

It's very nerve wracking to see it being done because you can't really see how it will look, but I'm hopeful it will all work out.

I finished my session of teaching at the REC Center and was so thankful. I just bit off more than I could chew. I was teaching 7 classes a week and then subbed sometimes. It was just TOO much. And then Landon was a huge problem. He was ok the first couple classes, then was a royal pain in the side.

Then came a call from an annoyed parent. Nice. Felt really good about that one. So I spent the last 5 weeks or so calling in way too many favors from friends to watch him. Thank goodness I have so many wonderful friends. Thanks to each of you. I loved teaching the classes and had great kids, but it just took too much time from my other commitments. I am now only teaching 2 classes a week when Landon is in school.

I'm still doing Brownies and am the cookie mom. It is about over and I'll be so glad. I'm actually avoiding doing some data entry fro the cookies to type this....yeah-I'm great when it comes to avoidance.

So the kiddos, we still have them.

Jordan: doing well in school-moved up a reading group so her spelling words got harder, she was so excited to tell me. She's doing so great in school. She's still so creative and loves artwork, writing, etc. She started soccer and is on a team with her 2 little best friends. I left her at practice tonight and she was loving it. Recently was quite impressed with herself when she figured out how to open her own "child-proof" bottle of antibiotics. Nice. She also helped me tons when we watched my friend's baby Sunday, which made me want a baby girls so badly-Jordan is always asking for one.

Spencer: enjoys school as well. Starting to read some on his own. He is timid, and is a super quiet reader, but he is getting better and better. He is now addicted to a new show on PBS called Wild Kratts, about 2 brothers who are animal experts. He can now get online and to the PBS website to play Wild Kratts completely on his own. He showed me how he does it today. I call him my "screen" kid-he loves TV, my ipod, my laptop and playing the Wii. He also started soccer and is on a team with his best little friend from church. He loves it as well.

Landon: My stubborn little stinker. He gives me a run for my money, I tell ya!! Aside from the occasional time he has to be taken out of circle time for not listening, he is doing excellent in school. I had his conference a few weeks ago, and the the teacher said he knows all his colors, numbers, shapes, the alphabet so he's set. He knows the sounds of letters and is starting to ask what words say. I think he'll pick up on reading really quick. He missed the cut off for "mini kickers' in soccer by a month. Such a bummer since he is the same size as some of the kids on Spencer's team.

I love these kiddos so much, but feel like I'm failing them, lately. I've been yelling more than usual at little things-things that usually don't bother me. I haven't been the most patient mother, either. We are so disorganized as well-with all the work that is being done on the house. I'll be so happy when it's all done. I feel in limbo, so it's very frustrating. Then I fall in the trap of "oh, we'll change this when we get in the new house." I mean stuff like bedtime and morning routines, kids watching wayyyy too much TV, etc. And the kids know it too-they have been getting away with stuff because I simply have energy to deal with it. (mostly because I am doing too much.-which I am learning the hard way.)

Ugh.

And then We were doing well with the scriptures, then have something come up one night and get out of the habit. Darin and I are so tired at bedtime that it's a rush most nights. Then I feel bad after that I didn't spend more time with each of the kids.

It's almost like we're in survival mode. "If I can must make it until we get in a new house" kind of thinking. But I don't want to form bad habits until we get there.

I just have to figure out how to balance living in a house that is in transition and keep our routines and traditions in tact at the same time.

Any advice would be we most welcome.

Phew-this is clearly some major rambling. I better get going on my cookie stuff I have to do instead of avoiding it any longer.....

sore feet

It is beginning!!

We are really on our way to getting our house on the market.

The POD was delivered on Friday and did the bulk of the loading yesterday. Whew. Sore feet.

But there is a story to the POD-which stands for Portable On Demand Storage. Darin did the reservation online. In the directions, he stated that we wanted it to be placed with the door facing the house. Apparently there was some box he had to check for how the POD was placed on the delivery truck. Well, he marked the wrong thing, which was apparently not so clear, so instead of the door facing the house-I drove up and it was facing the STREET!!!

WHAT? How IDIOTIC can you be? It was very explicit in our directions and I would think that any experienced driver would understand that we would be taking things our of our house to load in and that we would want to walk straight into the POD. Not rocket science, people.

Needless to say I was LIVID!! I got on the phone right away. Well, you only get the corporate call center and they can't really do much. The lady did call the local office and they said that since a certain thing was marked, it was partly our fault. It would be a $104 charge to change it around and they wouldn't be able to do it until Saturday. Oh, but they were being so nice and said that they would take half the price off.

again, WHAT? Why on earth didn't the driver-whom you would assume has delivered may PODS to houses just assume that since the directions say "put door of POD to door of townhouse" to disregard the other mistakenly marked box. I was just so ticked because I had called the day before to get the time and I wondered why it said "facing C" in our directions box. I guess that means the door is facing the cab of the truck so that is how they place it in the spot. I'm just kicking myself that I didn't ask about that.

So we spent the day yesterday loading it by walking all the way around it to put the stuff in. I actually spent the morning getting things packed and off the big furniture pieces so they could be loaded. Jonathon and Darin did most of the heavy lifting, which was great for me, but I kept working the whole time.

So now we are left with piles and chaos in every room in the house. I have lots to still box up and load in, but all that is left is little stuff.

Now you know what I'll be doing all week!!

My birthday present

I had an AWESOME date on my birthday!! Darin told me we were going out, but I didn't know where we were going until we were about to leave the house!! So were did we go?

A cruise on the Potomac River!! It was really amazing! The boat was an old fashioned Yacht-really cool old woodworking and cool decor. We sat at a table in the "salon" and had yummy fondue. The ride was about an hour and a half. Part way through we went out on the dock to see the view.

It was just so nice to spend time with Darin and relax for a while. He is so good at finding things that make me feel so special and loved. I LOVED our date!!

Here is our Yacht-"Finished Business"
I tried to do a night shot of the boat. I just took the little point and shoot, and when we got there, I was so bummed that I didn't take my nice camera. But I did get some pics for us to remember!

A close up of the yacht.
Darin and I were the first ones to board the boat, so we found our seats then we explored the Yacht-there was seating actually right up by the control room. Darin had a seat in the captain's chair. We thought the old fashioned wheel was really cool.
Inside the cabin. There was a main room, then a "salon" through the doors. We sat in the back-near the big window in the corner.
Darin and I on the yacht. I was so excited that this picture actually worked. Every time I try holding the camera out to take one, it never works. This time it worked-Yay!!!
After we enjoyed our fondue, we took a stroll out on the deck. It was crisp, but was totally beautiful night.
This picture is funny because Darin said when he focused in on me, he couldn't see me until the pic was taken. Explains why I'm a bit cut off.

But it was such a pretty view!
There were two friends who kept trying to take a pic of the 2 of us. This was the best one they got-so we'll take it:)
Such a wonderful evening!! Thank you for making me feel so special, Darin. Love, love, love you!!

it continues

I now have 3 bottles of antibiotics in my fridge. Yes, they each have their own. Now Landon and Jordan have strep. And Jordan just had it 2 weeks ago. We just can't kick it. I feel like I want to sterilize my house and not let my kids out until May.

Yeah, I'd never really do that, but I wish I could figure out a way to stop them from being sick anymore. It is just so frustrating to have been this sick-as a family and in such a short period of time. I just pray were done for the season.

And I'm done with being cold. Most years winter doesn't bother me. I like the snow, the cold, etc. But this year-maybe because I'm so busy with so many things-Can I say how I really feel:
I HATE you old man winter. GO AWAY!!!

Spring-PLEASE come early. I'll treat you so well-plant flowers, take my kiddos outside to play, open my windows for air to come in....you'll really like us. PLEASE GET HERE SOON!!!

lately.....

we have all been sick. It has been a rough couple weeks:

Jordan's has fever and throat hurts. We take her in-it's strep. She misses 2 days of school.
Landon has sore throat and temp so misses a day of school.

Mommy starts to feel yucky. Wakes up with body aches, continues on with horrible headaches, nasty cough, chills, temp, sore throat. Spends 3 days basically able to do nothing.

3 days during the un-necessary snow days the kids had. Yeah-brutal. Thank goodness for great friends and Darin who came to my rescue. Dr. said just a virus. Whatever.

The next week Darin comes home from work with a headache, sore throat and feeling yucky. Stays home from work for a day.

And last but not least Spencer comes down with sore throat and bad temp. Then develops a rash. Scarlet Fever. Sounds so scary, but Dr. says it is strep throat with a rash. He got it good. I was a bit scarred because he was not eating anything. He got a blessing last night and woke up a different person this morning!!

I love the priesthood!

And in the midst of all of this, I am teaching at the RECenter, volunteering at the school, packing the house to get ready to sell, leading brownies and cookies came in.

My picture is in the dictionary next to to the word "frazzled."

BUT.....for my birthday Darin gave me a certificate for a 60 minute deep tissue massage!!! THANK YOU DARIN!!

a sad goodbye

We had a bit of a sad evening tonight.

We said goodbye to our beloved pet fish.

And boy did I underestimate how the children would take it. Darin put them on Craigslist and had a lot of responses. On guy wanted to come tonight, so Darin said ok. I wish it would have been later because the kids were still up. I tried to keep them upstairs, but that did not work at all. The guy was a really nice guy-said he has an even bigger tank than we do so it was a good choice.

Anyhow I was in the middle of dressing the boys from their bath. They were crying their eyes out because they knew what was going on. We kept telling them that the fishies were going to a great new home and would have more space and lots of new friends. When the guy left, all 3 kids were in tears-seriously in tears. They kept saying 'But they are our fish." "What if they get scarred?" " What if they don't like the new place?" " What if the new guy isn't nice?"

Then at bedtime, Spencer said to me "mommy, what if the fish don't like the food at the new house?"

Oh man, my heart just melted.

I didn't really think it would be a big deal. But then I do have to remember that they are always asking Darin to feed the fish. They were pretty proud of them since people always comment about the fish tank when they come in the house for the first time. The kids were really attached to them-and we've had the fish tank for probably about 4 years give or take, so it's been here for Landon's whole life and most of Spencer's.

And now as I sit here and type this, it is weird to look over at a dark fish tank with no fishies swimming around. A lot of times I just sit here at night and watch them-it's pretty calming. I have really enjoyed having the fish tank in our home.

It makes me realize that this is going forward-we are selling our house. For real. Oh man, the emotions are really going to come if I dwell on this....Darin and I have lived here since we got married and have brought all three of our kids home here....

uh oh,

this is going to be very hard....

I want a bigger house, but man, I think leaving here is going to be way harder than I think.....

better think of something else now...

ok, my primary lesson!